FUN FACT #1

I used to be a gangster rapper and was managed by one of DMX’s managers. At any moment I could lose my mind, up in here, up in here.

FUN FACT #2

I’m the world heavyweight champion of falling asleep on airplanes. My doctor won’t back me up on this, but I’m pretty sure I suffer from a mild form of vehicular narcolepsy.

FUN FACT #3

In the early 2000’s I stayed up all night with hundreds of wannabe investment bankers in suits to audition for The Apprentice. Yes, THAT Apprentice. In the morning, I handed out fortune cookies to everyone in line. Every cookie had the same fortune which said, GIVE UP. GO HOME. YOU CAN’T BEAT MICKEY FORTUNE.

FUN FACT #4

Every year I try to sacrifice my children to the Abominable Snowman so we’ll have a milder winter. He always gives them back.